Hi There I Have been taken my 5 year old to Tee Ball since April. Each week when we would be in the field he would play in the dirt and pick out the grass. He also did not want to play unless I was in the field with him. So I was pretty much just out there to keep the baseball from hitting him. Each week I was getting more and more frustrated. When I got to the field last night I expected the same thing, but instead did something different. When we got out of the car I said to Aiden do you want to get a Hot Dog at the end of the game. He smiled and got excited. Then he said to me if I do good I can get a hot dog? I realized I must have been trying to bribe him at some point and I said No, Even if you dig in the dirt we will get a hot dog it don’t matter how you do. Just do your best. When we got on the field it was pretty much the same thing at first then a ball was hit toward him and he fielded it and threw it to first base. I cheered for him as well as the coaches cheered for him and I saw he like this. When he got up to bat he hit the ball on like the 2nd pitch and we all cheered for him again. He was very excited that he fielded the ball and hit the ball. We went back in the field and he was playing in the dirt a little less and trying to catch another ball. He wanted the ball to be hit to him. And then it happened a 2nd chance to field the ball. He got it and threw it to first base. I cheered again for him and now he was having fun and so was I. When he got up to hit again he hit a pop up and ran to first base. Again I made a big deal about it. At one point I said to him joking around that if he caught another ball that I would get extra ketchup on his hot dog and he was really excited waiting for another ball to get hit to him. By the End of the game he Fielded 3 balls and hit 3 times. He was very excited and got his hot dog with extra ketchup. At the end of the game I also realized that instead of correcting him every time he was playing in the dirt. I was doing what we do at our karate school. I was praising him for what he was doing right. See kids want attention. If they are not getting positive attention they will do something to get attention and usually it’s not good. So when Aiden saw me get excited that he was doing good he wanted more of that praise and attention. So with only 2 games left I pretty sure we will have great games and I don’t expect him to stop playing in the dirt. But I did realize how important it is to catch your child doing the behavior you want and praising them for it. Sometimes as parents we tell our kids what we want them to do but forget to let them know that we are happy when they are doing it. Sometimes we are faster to correct them or yell at them when they are doing something wrong. When we teach Karate at Dragon Gate Martial Arts Academy in Oakdale, NY we use positive reinforcement. If I want a specific behavior from our students I praise the ones that are doing it and the other ones will want the praise and start doing what we want. Now I just have to remember to do it with my son and daughter.
Thank you for reading.
Shihan Mike Iannone